Seeing that turkeys were so inexpensive, I decided to cook one for myself, mainly to see how it worked; I’m actually spending Thanksgiving with family who will be making the turkey, all I’m supposed to do is make pumpkin pie, which I think I’m not too bad at, mainly because it’s so easy.
So last week I ran out to the local Culver City Albertson’s, on Venice near Robertson. It appears to be the “nicest” standard market in the area, large, clean, well-lit and apparently well-stocked. Though I did notice there were carts scattered all over the parking area, and the cart pickup zone was littered with trash. Found the turkeys, but whatever the special was I couldn’t find listed there; it turns out it was two for one. I guess some people cook two smaller turkeys instead of one large one? But even one at a time they were inexpensive, I think it was around $12 for a 9lb Butterball. Picked up a few other things; I tend to be an impulse food shopper. The lines, in the middle of the day, were slow, but not bad; they had a self-checkout but since I had fruit and other unlabeled items I passed on it.
I keep hearing about brining turkeys, and I was willing to give it a go, but the (supposedly great but personally frustrating-to-use) Butterball web site had nothing at all listed explaining how to do this. And they haven’t answered the email I sent. But I talked to several people who told me that Butterbirds don’t need brining (baby!).
Defrosted the fowl in my somewhat unpredictable refrigerator, the “Sub-sub-zero” – that despite looking “nice” doesn’t seem to keep its temperature very steady (which was pretty much why I got it, for free, from the parents – not that I’m complaning!)
So by yesterday I was all ready to tackle the task. Armed with a list of vague ingredients I headed back to Albertson’s. My first impression is that the carts in the parking lot hadn’t been collected in the week since I’d been there. There were carts blocking about 1/3 of the parking spaces. I moved a couple, to be able to park, and corralled about four back to the holding area.
Got what I needed for turkey, stuffing, gravy, and was collecting what I needed for pumpkin pie, when I ran into the next snag: they didn’t have any canned pumpkin. Four days before Thanksgiving. Yes, I use canned pumpkin because I think it comes out a lot better than real pumpkin, which seems watery and stringy, neither of which I consider positive pie attributes. No canned pumpkin. The (actually quite helpful) stock person told be that they’d have some next week. Hrmph. And then she actually tracked me down when she found a can of instant pumpkin mix (I may be lazy but at least I mix my own spices and I can break an egg or two). So I knew I had to stop at another market anyway. I got in line, and waited. And waited. The woman near the front of the line had two full baskets. And the woman ahead of her had apparently forgotten how to write a check, or something. And waited. I noticed that the self check lanes were basically empty, so I wandered over there (accidentally bumped my cart into another woman in the checkout mob that blocked the first row of the market, and she was a little bit nasty about it.) The people using the self check, it turns out, were frozen in time waiting for the self check supervisor for some reason or another – two self check lanes were open, the other two were down for repairs. After they finally flagged someone down, and finished up, I stepped up to the scanner.
I keep all my supermarket club card numbers written on the back of a business card, so I don’t have to carry around a dozen cards, or give my phone number out all over town; I believe they’re all anonymous. But in the self check, this means I have to have the attendant enter my number since the machine gives me no way to do it for myself. Then I start scanning items. “Please place item in the checkout area.” I notice that since there’s no place to put incoming groceries, I have to leave them in the cart, but that leaves me no place to put the finished bags. “Please place item in the checkout area.” I also notice a handmade sign suggesting only using the self-check for 20 items or less. “The item placed in the checkout area is incorrect. Please remove.” What? It was a can of condensed milk, and I’d just scanned it and put it into the bag properly. And now what am I supposed to do, scan it again? I pulled it out and put it into the bag. A few more items. “Item not recognized. Please see attendant.” A package of fresh thyme, with a good barcode, so I had to find the guy and he had to run off to check the price. I filled one bag, and moved it on the foor. “Item removed from checkout area.” Well, yeah, the bag was full. There’s no “remove tag” button on the touchscreen. (shrug). I was nearly ready to just give up and walk away. Every three items or so it would say “The item placed in the checkout area is incorrect. Please remove.” I couldn’t figure out where in the tiny bagging area I was supposed to put my turkey roasting pan; glad I didn’t try it with the actual turkey. Finally the lackey got back(ey) with the price of the spice. I ignored the suspicion that the price seemed a little low (as far as I can tell there weren’t any items skipped, but there were some major club card discounts, $13 off a $43 total, so maybe that was it). Out of the store feeling dazed and stupid, I dropped my bags at the car, and then wandered around the parking lot and corralled about two dozen carts blocking parking places, into the holding pen (I probably got about 1/4 of the lot). The Vons on Pico and Fairfax is pretty grubby, but it did have pumpkin (in the pie aisle instead of the canned veggies aisle – why not both?) and pleasant human checkers.
The turkey came out great. I stuffed it, not with stuffing of course, but with orange peels, onions, thyme, and rosemary, and slathered it with Crisco to keep the skin from burning; 325 for about four hours till the thermometer said 180. While it was cooking I made stuffing separately, using sausage, onion, celery, and chicken broth, which came out a little dry. Also prepped the gravy stock, by simmering the neck and giblets (muttering to myself, “giblets…giblets….”) in more onion and celery and black pepper and salt for a couple of hours. When the bird came out, I slurped up the drippings, combined the fat (not a lot) with a little flour, added the reserved giblet stock, whisked away the flour lumps, added the rest of the drippings, boiled till thick, added the rest of the giblets.
Meanwhile I sliced then stripped the turkey carcass (I’m just prepping and fridging everything); saved the remains for soup, nibbled on turkey and stuffing, and stirred the gravy. By the way, I was left with only a few dirty dishes because (my cooking secret, don’t tell anyone I told you) I clean dishes and re-use them as I go along.
All in all, I’d grade myself a solid B on the turkey – it came out beautifully, and was moist, but I didn’t do a very good job slicing it; a C- on the stuffing (prepared okay, but didn’t use enough chicken broth or something; also putting it back to bake with the turkey dried it out even more, should have done that covered). And a solid A on the gravy because it was damned tasty and I got all the lumps out of it. (P.S. Reconsidered: once I got it reheated and slathered with gravy, the stuffing is damned good; B+.)
This really wasn’t all that much food, for the amount of effort it took. I could feed about three hungry people on this, I guess. Or just feed myself snacks. Total cost, maybe $25 (not counting pies and other accessories).
Today I’m doing the pumpkin pies, and maybe some fresh cranberry sauce. I do like cooking, and my kitchen here works a little better for it than my old one even tho it’s still quite small.
